There is no plan; they just show up in your life one day. They drift in on the East Wind, or through a new work schedule. You play volleyball on the same team, or attend the same drawing class. And before you know it, these once new faces become dear friends. Below you can read a preview of the article about friendship in issue 13.
At the beginning of a friendship, we don’t know very much about the other person. We can’t yet tell what they are going to mean to us, or we to them. We have fun doing things together and going out for meals, slowly revealing more and more about our dreams and struggles, and over time building up shared experiences. We don’t think ahead to wonder if the friendship will be put under pressure some day in the future. We don’t discuss how we will feel or how we shall act if life gets so busy at some point that we don’t get around to our friendship anymore. We do not anticipate that the things that are now part of our friendship may some day be gone.
But then that day arrives, and we feel an emptiness. After years of partying, talking, traveling and consoling, we see that the tree just isn’t blossoming anymore. And we wonder if that’s a problem. “Not at all,” says philosopher Catharina de Haas, “unless it makes you unhappy.” And that is the painful part. Because we all know, deep down inside, that some friendships fade away naturally, while others don’t.
You can read more about friendship in issue 13, still available in our web shop.
Text Peggy van der Lee Illustrations Kate Wilson